Finding the right therapist requires knowing what you want and remaining open-minded. For example, you may prefer someone who shares an element of your identity (like race or religion) or specializes in a certain type of therapy.
To help narrow your options, look at the therapists’ bios and determine their qualifications. You can also use an online therapist directory.
Know What You Want
Whether I am seeking therapy to restore a relationship, recover from a trauma, adjust to a new life stage, or simply improve my mental health, knowing what I want from the process can help match me with a therapist. Some therapists have a more specific goal in mind, such as helping you develop tools to manage depression or anxiety. In contrast, others may be more generalists, focusing on treating relationships or addressing overall well-being.
It is also important to consider practical considerations when selecting a therapist, such as proximity and scheduling flexibility. You might prefer a provider who sees patients in the same neighborhood or has office hours that match your work or family schedules. However, it’s worth considering a longer commute if you know that working with a therapist who is the perfect fit for you can help you achieve your goals.
Finally, some therapists specialize in certain types of therapy, such as marriage counseling or treating particular mental health conditions, and it is worthwhile to take the time to research what methods they use. Additionally, some therapists will offer brief consultations for free over the phone to get acquainted before you schedule your first session.
Lastly, some people seek a therapist who shares some identity elements. For example, some therapists are explicitly LGBTQ+ and those who have experience with other identities such as race, ethnicity, religion, or age.
Ask for Referrals
Many therapists rely on personal and professional referrals to build their practice. Therapists must proactively get referrals and ensure that their potential clients are connected to the right therapist for them.
Getting referrals can feel awkward and uncomfortable initially, but therapists will often find that clients appreciate their effort to help them find a good therapist match. Some therapists even offer free 15-minute consultations for new clients to ensure the client is a good fit before scheduling their first session.
Medical professionals, such as doctors, nurses, and psychologists, are the most common referral sources. However, it is equally as effective for therapists to connect with the local community, attend community events and professional association meetings, and reach out to other professionals who may serve as great referral sources (e.g., attorneys and school counselors).
It is also helpful to consider the proximity of potential therapists to the client’s home or office. Clients commuting to a therapist’s location are less likely to follow through with appointments. Additionally, therapists with low rates or who accept insurance panels can be more accessible to clients with financial limitations. This is a win-win for both the therapist and the client, as it allows the client to receive the help they need in a manageable way.
Schedule a Consultation
Most therapists offer free 15-minute consultations to determine compatibility and if they are the right fit for you. Call the therapist directly or use an online scheduling service to set up a time for your consult. The consultation will allow you to explain the reason for your search, share what you have tried so far, and describe the chemistry that might exist between you and the therapist.
The therapist will also be able to ask you about your background and if you have ever had therapy. This is an important question as a therapist with extensive experience working through the issue you seek to address will be more likely to understand and relate to your experiences.
During the consult, it’s common for therapists to talk about the logistics of therapy — such as how often you plan to meet and whether you will be using insurance or paying out-of-pocket. This part of the call is usually fairly straightforward, and most therapists will happily answer your questions.
If you don’t feel connected during the consultation, it is okay to say that you would like to continue your search or find another therapist who may be better for you. The therapist will respect your honesty and will be more than happy to refer you to a colleague who will likely be a good match for you.
Schedule Your First Session
Once you’ve narrowed your search and found a therapist that fits your needs, it’s time to schedule the first session. This is a big step, and the nerves can be high when you finally sit down to meet with someone whom you’ve been considering as your potential therapist for days (or weeks or months).
In this first session, your therapist will spend some time getting to know you and will ask questions about what brought you into therapy. You will also discuss your goals for treatment and decide if continuing to work together makes sense. If it doesn’t, then you can always let your therapist know that you’re not a good fit for one another. They’ll be professional about it and can often help you find a new therapist who would be a better match for you.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that finding the right therapist can be a long process, especially due to the current therapist shortage, so keep going if you still need to be matched with your ideal therapist. It’s normal to try three or more therapists before you find the one for you.
Ultimately, the connection between you and your therapist—or the “fit” as it’s sometimes called—is more important than the specific method of therapy they use or how many years of training they have.
